What are you afraid of?

I asked my students the other day in class what they were afraid of. I was surprised by some of the answers and the brutal honesty. However, I never ask them or have them answer a question I am not willing to ask or answer myself. I was open and transparent with my seniors about what struggles or obstacles I deal with.

I am not very fond of spiders. I know they play an important part of the insect ecosystem, but when I was in middle school I was bitten by a spider. I wish it would have been radio active and I became spider man, but unfortunately, that’s not the case! I spent two days on the sofa and ended up in the ER. The doctor cut a small hole in my leg to release the infection and start the healing process. The hole was left open to heal from the inside out. I (my mother) cleaned and dressed the hole for several days in conjunction with antibiotics. I live with the scar as a reminder of how amazing, and scary, nature can be. Needless to say, when I see a spider, I head the opposite direction.

But to answer the intent of the question, I feel as though I am afraid of what God might possibly call me to do. I am a teacher at a comfortable place in my career. I am in my tenth year and things are great. Days are simple and communicating the Gospel is extremely fun. Now if you ask my students, they might disagree. I expect a lot from my students and I hold them to high standards. Although, I extend absurd amounts of grace and unconditional love. Part of my fear is that God might be calling me to more. I often feel the spirit tugging me to return to seminary to finish my masters work and move into doctoral work. (I would love to be called Dr. Fruitticher one day!) Maybe I’m afraid of the work/effort it will take? Maybe I’m afraid of failing or maybe I’m afraid of how God wants to use me? As great as teaching is, there is also a fear that this could be it? Am I going to be a teacher all my life? There is nothing wrong with being a teacher, but am I going to be the old guy that teaches Bible until he retires? Is there more out there? Then there’s the whole question about dreams and maybe those dreams have passed me by. What about passions? Aren’t we supposed to do what we are passionate about? So many questions to think about!!

I am reminded of the disciples in Mark 4. As an individual, I tend to be consumed with the circumstances. The disciples saw the wind and waves and were scared for their lives. Interestingly enough, Jesus was sleeping through the whole thing until he was awoken by the disciples! How about the audacity of the disciples to ask Jesus if he cared about them? But don’t we do the same when life gets rough and we cry out for help? Jesus, where are you? Jesus, please, we need your help! Culturally, when things are going good, Jesus is the last person on our minds. However, when “catastrophic” events happen we plead for Jesus to intervene. We treat him more like a genie than we do a Savior to walk through life with. I feel like it comes to perspective. All the disciples could see were the waves crashing over the boat. All the disciples could see was the boat beginning to sink. We too forget to have the perspective of who is actually in the boat with us.

Jesus himself asked the disciples, “What are you afraid of? Do you still have no faith?” Talk about cutting to the chase? Does the lack of faith lead to fear in the circumstances of life? Jesus, in his questioning, brings to the forefront that we need him in our everyday life, not only in the crisis moments alone. I believe we get in the habit of the signal flare prayer. We send off the flare for help hoping God notices and begins to respond. Talk about bad theology and a frustrating way to live. I think, for myself, I forget that Jesus is FOR me. For example, if I teach school until I retire, then God is for me. If I pursue dreams to become a PhD, God is for me. If I pursue another career path, God is for me. If I pursue dreams, God is for me. How or why am I so confident you may ask? It’s a great question, but many years ago I agreed to put my “yes” on the table. I told God I would be willing and open to communicate the Gospel wherever he would put me. Maybe I have an unfair advantage over the disciples, but I have placed my faith in Jesus. I push myself to walk with Jesus daily. Am I perfect, no! But in my relationship with Jesus I have learned the more I try to control the less I accomplish and the more I let Him have control the more I accomplish. Does that make life rainbows and butterflies? Not at all!! I have found that its a daily death to self and the constant straining to press on towards the goal that God has called me heavenward.

Photo by Jeremy Bishop on Unsplash

Here is Why You are Hated

It’s easier to start in the beginning, the Genesis beginning, trying to explain why you and I are hated. On the Biblical level, scripture tells us that we have an enemy that wants to kill us, steal from us and destroy us. (John 10:10) If we look into the backstory of Satan, we see that he was a created angel by God. Satan made a choice, the same choice we have as humanity, to rebel against God or to be obedient. Because of Satan’s choice, along with other angels, he was kicked out of Heaven and found residence in a place called Hell. Scripture says that pride and ego were Satan’s downfall. Satan was created to serve, as we were, but Satan’s choice was only to serve himself, not God. Genesis chapter three is filled with lots of information we have a tendency to overlook. It is the first look we get at Satan or the serpent and how he works. Maybe you have heard that Satan is the father of all lies. In Genesis chapter three, he took God’s command to Adam and Woman (not Eve until after the fall) and distorted the truth. Now, here’s the choice I keep talking about, to serve God or rebel. Adam chose to rebel and sin entered the world. Because of Adam’s poor choice, God’s redemptive plan enters in Genesis chapter three. Like any good parent (Father) trying to sort out what happened (not that God doesn’t know; in short, God is real big on us admitting, confessing and repenting of our sin), as God listens to Adam, Woman, and Satan, they all seem to cast blame. Each is then given their consequence because of their choice to rebel and how it will affect future humanity. (Gen. 3:14-20)

So the Lord God said to the serpent, “Because you have done this, “Cursed are you above all livestock and all wild animals! You will crawl on your belly and you will eat dust all the days of your life.¹⁵ And I will put enmity between you and the woman, and between your offspring and hers; he will crush your head, and you will strike his heel.”

To the woman he said, “I will make your pains in childbearing very severe; with painful labor you will give birth to children. Your desire will be for your husband, and he will rule over you.”

To Adam he said, “Because you listened to your wife and ate fruit from the tree about which I commanded you, ‘You must not eat from it,’“Cursed is the ground because of you; through painful toil you will eat food from it all the days of your life. It will produce thorns and thistles for you, and you will eat the plants of the field. By the sweat of your brow you will eat your food until you return to the ground, since from it you were taken; for dust you are and to dust you will return.”

Adam named his wife Eve, because she would become the mother of all the living.

Don’t miss verse 15. We are hated because we are a constant reminder to Satan that he has been defeated. For some reason, I think we overlook the fact we have an enemy that hates us and tries his best to persuade us to rebel against God. Satan feeds us lies every day, distorts the truth and tries to cripples us from being obedient to the Word of God.

The Battle Within

Satan is really good at getting people to believe his lies, even Christ followers. I must admit I have fallen victim to his lies on more than one occasion. Many people may be addicted to a substance, such as drugs or pornography. Satan can use anything to distort the truth. I am so thankful to not have an outside obstacle or substance to deal with. However, my battle happens in my thought life. Paul gives great advice in 2 Corinthians to take every thought captive to make it obedient to Christ. Easier said then done, Paul. Nonetheless, I must come back to the admitting, confessing and repentance aspects I spoke of earlier. I am fortunate enough to play drums at my home church. The church has been growing for a few years now and we were busting at the seams. We were holding dual services on the main campus and just opening a satellite campus. All services had a live band and two of the three venues had a simulcast of the preaching. We were feeling the growing pains in every aspect of church life. Eventually, we built a brand new worship auditorium that holds close to 900 people. The main campus now has three live services and the satellite campus now has two via simulcast, but with live worship. Some might say we battled the parking issue. Some might say we battled a space issue. Some might even say we battled the multi-campus issue. And all would be correct, but I would like to tell you about my personal struggle along the way.

Now, as with church growth, the musician pool began to increase as well. I was playing every Sunday in one of the three venues. It was awesome but I know staffing three bands was difficult. As that pool began to grow, which needed to happen, we were able to combine the main campus venues when the larger auditorium opened. With one less venue, the pool became a lot more crowded. As a musician, I love the multiple services and the multiple campuses. We are reaching more people! But I found myself in the musician pool but not being called on as often. And here is where Satan began to rear his ugly head. I began believing the lie that I wasn’t good enough anymore. Don’t get me wrong, I have the utmost respect and fondness for all the people that are playing. But when I was no longer playing every week, it messed with my mind. Now, if someone were to come to me with the same sort of circumstance, I have all kinds of scripture to give them. There would be advice on how to “trust God” and “His timing” and to “captivate your thoughts.” I would ask them “who are you trying to please” or remind them that “you play for an audience of one.” I could keep going, but maybe you get the point. The fact is, am I going to believe what I say I believe? Or am I going to listen to the lie and rebel? Am I going be grounded in the truth and be obedient?  News flash, obedience is difficult and not fun sometimes. Somewhere along the way I think we, as believers, have concocted our own lie that following Jesus is easy. For me personally, following Jesus gets more difficult every day. I say that to emphasize the more I follow and know His word, the more enlightened I become to my own shortcomings. See, the lie I bought into was that God was done with me and that I had served my time as a drummer. God had no use for me anymore or that I wasn’t good enough to play anymore. Well, that is a lie, because God is not done with me, as a drummer or any other aspect in my life, which belongs to Him. The truth is that God uses trials in my life to draw me closer to Him. Like I have stated before, it doesn’t make it any easier, but bearable. I have been fighting self-doubt, lack of self-worth, questioning my drive and my passion for drumming and examining my faith in Jesus.

The Good Book

Wow! Really Steven? All from not playing drums? Really? Yes, really! The Bible tells us that sin works something like this. Sin starts with deception/doubt which leads to our own desires, which leads to disobedience and when it’s full grown, it leads to death. (Gen. 3, James 1) We are responsible for our sin, not God. God is sinless, while we are sinful. Hence, that is why Paul wrote about captivating every thought. James would go on to tell us in his writing that God is sovereign over our trials. So, let me get this straight. God could be using this trial (not playing as much) to draw me closer to Him? Exactly! When in our trials, if we are focused on ourselves and our desires, we quickly drift off course. The goal in any trial should always be to stay focused on God. If we stay focused on Him, then we can grow in maturity and God’s likeness. We go through trials to strengthen our faith. What better way to strengthen my faith than through something I love so much. So where does that leave me now? Well, I have begun praying more over things I hardly ever prayed about. I rest on God’s word about prayer and anxiety. I make my request know and let His peace cover me. So when I find myself “waiting” in the musician pool, I have learned to pray that God would sustain me through the waiting and release me from the anxiety. Paul penned some verses in Philippians that talk about being content in any circumstance.

I rejoiced greatly in the Lord that at last you renewed your concern for me. Indeed, you were concerned, but you had no opportunity to show it. I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do all this through him who gives me strength. Yet it was good of you to share in my troubles.

God knows the plan for me and I’m going to trust Him no matter the circumstance. I will not continue to listen to the lie. The enemy cannot have this foothold any longer; I belong to the creator of truth.

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John 10:1-18

“Very truly I tell you Pharisees, anyone who does not enter the sheep pen by the gate, but climbs in by some other way, is a thief and a robber. ² The one who enters by the gate is the shepherd of the sheep. ³ The gatekeeper opens the gate for him, and the sheep listen to his voice.He calls his own sheep by name and leads them out.⁴ When he has brought out all his own, he goes on ahead of them, and his sheep follow him because they know his voice. ⁵ But they will never follow a stranger; in fact, they will run away from him because they do not recognize a stranger’s voice.” ⁶ Jesus used this figure of speech, but the Pharisees did not understand what he was telling them.⁷ Therefore Jesus said again, “Very truly I tell you, I am the gate for the sheep. ⁸ All who have come before me are thieves and robbers, but the sheep have not listened to them. ⁹ I am the gate; whoever enters through me will be saved. They will come in and go out, and find pasture.¹⁰ The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.¹¹ “I am the good shepherd. The good shepherd lays down his life for the sheep. ¹² The hired hand is not the shepherd and does not own the sheep. So when he sees the wolf coming, he abandons the sheep and runs away. Then the wolf attacks the flock and scatters it. ¹³ The man runs away because he is a hired hand and cares nothing for the sheep.¹⁴ “I am the good shepherd; I know my sheep and my sheep know me— ¹⁵ just as the Father knows me and I know the Father—and I lay down my life for the sheep. ¹⁶ I have other sheep that are not of this sheep pen. I must bring them also. They too will listen to my voice, and there shall be one flock and one shepherd. ¹⁷ The reason my Father loves me is that I lay down my life—only to take it up again. ¹⁸ No one takes it from me, but I lay it down of my own accord. I have authority to lay it down and authority to take it up again. This command I received from my Father.”

I found myself intrigued by this passage in my devotion I was working through a few days back. There seemed to be so many ideas and truths to grab hold of, but I wanted to walk you through some parallels that I discovered. For some of us, it may be easy or clear that Jesus is using the example of sheep and shepherd as an illustration about himself and believers. Jesus very clearly in his illustration leaves no doubt what role he plays and the role we as believers play. There were a few things I had read many times, but never really thought about. “I am the gate?” What are the implications of that statement? “I lay down my life for the sheep.” What? “I have other sheep that are not in this pen?” Which sheep are in the correct pen? Hopefully I can bring light to these questions.

I am the Gate

Sheep are generally known as “not smart” animals. They need companionship, protection, provision and guidance. Left on their own, they have a slim chance of survival. Sound familiar? I think sometimes we have a difficult time identifying with examples in the Bible, even when they are so blatantly obvious. The lyrics “prone to wander” from “Come thou Fount” keep running through my head. Just like sheep, without leadership and guidance, we will try to go our own way, that most of the time, leads to destruction. The more we understand about sheep and the role of the Shepherd, it begins to open our eyes to what Jesus is telling the Pharisees. It also brings new light to scripture passages like Psalms 23. Jesus, not only does he lead us, he also sacrifices on our behalf. The shepherd would defend off attacks from predators and robbers. The natural instinct of a sheep is not to defend themselves, hence why they are easy targets. When Jesus says that He is the gate, practically speaking, he is our defense. The shepherd was willing to put his life on the line to keep the sheep safe. Jesus laid his life down to defeat the threat of sin and give us freedom from sin. I also believe Jesus is addressing the fact that there is only one way to the Father, and its through him, the Good Shepherd. I think Jesus is implying that if we do not know who he is and have a relationship with him, we will not enter into the kingdom of Heaven.

I have other Sheep

Jesus brings to light that the Gospel is a universal message. He laid down his life so that we can go gather more sheep. In the parable of the Lost Sheep, the Shepherd leaves the 99 and goes after the one lost sheep. When the shepherd finds the sheep, he rejoices and puts the sheep on his shoulders and brings it back home. Without leadership, the sheep will continue to wander. Without guidance, the sheep will put itself in life threatening situations. Without provisions, the sheep will not eat or drink. Without companionship, the sheep will remain lost. Jesus pursues us all to bring us back to the father. I love the lyrics of the song Pursue that Bethlehem Church has written. God has sent his son to go retrieve the lost. Jesus knows the number of his sheep. Jesus knows the needs of his sheep before we can even ask. Jesus knows where we have wandered to and pursues us despite our flaws.

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I know I have heard Ephesians 5 quoted many times in my life. I often find myself thinking of the old cliché, what would Jesus do? In 2106, someone made another bracelet with the answer to that faithful question, “He Would Love First.” Of course I am not just interested in bumper sticker or bracelet theology. While a good reminder, lets look at what scripture actually says. Hence, we find ourselves back in Ephesians 5:1-2.

At first glance, it seems like a rather easy piece of scripture to follow, until we do some investigating. Remember, chapters and verses were not in the original text. Ephesians 5:1-2 is actually the end of a thought from the previous chapter. (Rule #1 for reading scripture: Context always determines meaning) If we go back and look at the previous paragraphs from chapter 4, we will find the answer to our current question, “What Would Jesus do?” Now, the answer is not easy and it requires multiple steps of action. So let’s run those down together.

Walk in Love…sacrifice the old self

Walking in love sometimes requires more than we want to give. Jesus gave himself up for us. But I know what you’re thinking. If I sacrifice myself, my life won’t cover other people’s sin. And you would be correct. However, we can do what scripture is suggesting and sacrifice our sin nature. Putting off the old self and walking in the new self is easier said than done. I have my own cliché that goes “Today has never been about you. Never was, never will. Today has always been about how Jesus wants to use you to share the gospel with others.” So, we put to death the old self and all of its sinful desires. Our desire should be to walk in the new self. Paul would write in Romans that the transformation process starts in the mind. In simple words, you have to be in God’s truth (the word aka the Bible). Getting to know who God is and seeing his heart’s desires begins to change our own desires. No longer do we give into the evil desires of our own heart, but we find more pleasure fulfilling the desires of God’s heart.

Second, Paul advises to rid yourself of unwholesome talk. Slander, malice, anger, bitterness…all these things can lead us to using words that do not edify or encourage others. James writes that the tongue is one of the smallest parts of the body, but it can also do the most damage if we do not learn to control it. Many times, some of the most painful events that happen in life are due to hurtful words that we throw around at each other like daggers. It’s really hard to recover from a wound, but its possible.

Third, be kind and compassionate to others. At my church, we have this huge sign on the wall that says loving God is loving people and loving people is loving God. It is simple, but effective. John 13 tells us about a time Jesus washes his disciples’ feet. In the gospels of Matthew and Mark, scripture tells us that Jesus didn’t come to be served, but to serve. I hope we all know Jesus didn’t have his own agenda. He came to do what his Father asked him to do. We are asked to do the same. God, our father, asks us to be on his agenda. But the reality is most of us hope that God fits into our agenda. Serving others is probably not top priority on our list, but isn’t that was God is asking? IF we serve God, we will find ourselves serving others in his Name.